Saturday, 8 November 2008
Monday, 3 November 2008
A Provocative2 weeks
I just dropped Frank Farrelly off at the airport after spending 2 weeks with him and attending and 2 workshops, having co presented at the Leeds event. The Leeds event was especially magical and Frank did an interview with a lady called Sue who is terminally ill from cancer and could die at any time. I have literally spent hundreds of hours with Frank often on a one to one basis and continue to learn from him and use these insights in all areas of communication and especially with client interactions. Both Bandler and Grinder had Frank on their radar in the early days of NLP and of course Frank spent a great deal of time with Carl Rodgers and has an amazing history of therapeutic interactions over 5 decades. At the age of 77 he still runs events and I look forward to co presenting at the May UK AFPT hosted event, before travelling to NY and then Denver to run my own events.
Friday, 31 October 2008
PT event this weekend
We are now just 24 hours away from Frank Farrelly's annual Leeds PT workshop, so if anyone reading this wants to see a master of communication in action, there's still time to book!
Friday, 24 October 2008
Frank Farrelly's Me and God Book now available online
You can now purchase Frank Farrelly' 2nd book securely online here
http://www.shopcreator.com/mall/productpage.cfm/?store=HumanAlchemy2&productid=AFPT2
http://www.shopcreator.com/mall/productpage.cfm/?store=HumanAlchemy2&productid=AFPT2
Thursday, 9 October 2008
2 very different pieces of feedback from the Frank Farrelly evening
I thought I would post just to say what a delight Frank's evening was on the 3rd of October. A lady having late phase treatment for breast cancer,with concerns around sexuality,sexual functioning,and the very content of her remaining life had a session with Frank, and it was an absoloutely excellent teaching event.It was immensely generous of the client to be prepared to have this witnessed by everyone there and I salute her,and send her my heartfelt thanks.
As a doctor myself, I have so often come across people with life threatening illness being effectively ostracised,and shut down when they attempt to express themselves, simply because people do not know what to say or how to say it.This happens particulalry around sexual issues, partly because people often find this awkward to discuss, particulalry when it impacts on anyone with any kind of disability or illness. Contemplating sexual desires in another is often not easy, particularly when the individual has limited life expectancy and health issues which affect what they are able to do.Breast cancer and prostate cancer by their very nature impact on sexuality, partly due to the direct nature of surgery and radiotherapy, partly due to the indirect effects of hormonal manipulation.
Using his Provocative Therapy, Frank discussed life expectancy,sexuality,body image,relationships with significant others,financial matters,all in an open and supportive fashion,covering everything in a mere 25-30 minutes-producing the client's final response-"now I feel I have hope." Frank used humour and a remarkable openess which simultaneously suported yet freed the conversation wherever it went and as an example of how to have an effective and productive interaction in such a situation it was absoloutely superb.
So often such an interaction can be merely a grim and ineffective 25minutes of passing the tissue box whilst the client sobs hopelessly, and the therapist feels terrible and powerless to assist.I was delighted to have been present because I personally learnt a lot, but also because for everyone else present, whether friend,relative,partner,parent,child or therapist,whenever we are faced with "difficult" interactions, we now have simple effective tools to use which are immensely powerful , and make such an interaction meaningful, with magnificent resonance for all involved.
Frank manages to make such interactions look deceptively simple-like a conversation between two old friends-speaking as a doctor with 25 years experience-provocative therapy is simply superb.
Superb stuff indeed.
Dr S Elton
I'd just like to express my dissapointment in what was a non sequitur of an evening last Friday.
A good friend of mine who coaches in the North West paid for me to come along in expectation that we may learn something about the craft of a master. What in fact took place was completely irrelevant. I simply want to ask "why did you not think of stepping in to at least coax Frank and Sue away from the two hour fusilade of cock stories". Why?
Andy Whitlow
NLP Practitioner
As a doctor myself, I have so often come across people with life threatening illness being effectively ostracised,and shut down when they attempt to express themselves, simply because people do not know what to say or how to say it.This happens particulalry around sexual issues, partly because people often find this awkward to discuss, particulalry when it impacts on anyone with any kind of disability or illness. Contemplating sexual desires in another is often not easy, particularly when the individual has limited life expectancy and health issues which affect what they are able to do.Breast cancer and prostate cancer by their very nature impact on sexuality, partly due to the direct nature of surgery and radiotherapy, partly due to the indirect effects of hormonal manipulation.
Using his Provocative Therapy, Frank discussed life expectancy,sexuality,body image,relationships with significant others,financial matters,all in an open and supportive fashion,covering everything in a mere 25-30 minutes-producing the client's final response-"now I feel I have hope." Frank used humour and a remarkable openess which simultaneously suported yet freed the conversation wherever it went and as an example of how to have an effective and productive interaction in such a situation it was absoloutely superb.
So often such an interaction can be merely a grim and ineffective 25minutes of passing the tissue box whilst the client sobs hopelessly, and the therapist feels terrible and powerless to assist.I was delighted to have been present because I personally learnt a lot, but also because for everyone else present, whether friend,relative,partner,parent,child or therapist,whenever we are faced with "difficult" interactions, we now have simple effective tools to use which are immensely powerful , and make such an interaction meaningful, with magnificent resonance for all involved.
Frank manages to make such interactions look deceptively simple-like a conversation between two old friends-speaking as a doctor with 25 years experience-provocative therapy is simply superb.
Superb stuff indeed.
Dr S Elton
I'd just like to express my dissapointment in what was a non sequitur of an evening last Friday.
A good friend of mine who coaches in the North West paid for me to come along in expectation that we may learn something about the craft of a master. What in fact took place was completely irrelevant. I simply want to ask "why did you not think of stepping in to at least coax Frank and Sue away from the two hour fusilade of cock stories". Why?
Andy Whitlow
NLP Practitioner
Saturday, 20 September 2008
Those who don't get Provocative Therapy
I just read on an NLP newsgroup some of the dumbest ever posts relating to Provocative Therapy. In recent times I have increasingly spoken about how embarassed I am by some NLPers and how they IMO can increasingly ANALyse to the most ludicrous extent. In this instance a group of NLP trainers and students totally fail to appreciate that Provocative Therapy occurs when there is excellent rapport between parties and is likened to "two old friends chatting" Its NOT a demonstration of aggression or how to be a smart arse!
Provocative Therapy is a very sophisticated therapeutic approach that requires an acute ability to pay attention and to work in the here and now avoiding any mindreading of the client. After almost four years of studying with Frank Farrelly up close I have noticed that few who have studied NLP have IMO realised the many dimensions to Frank's work. Part of thereason for this is that may NLPers only train with a couple of trainers and never see private clients, so much of their "understanding" is wholly theoretical. This extends to those with quite grandoise titles and years of experence!
Frank has indicated that there will be no certifications in Provocative Therapy and mentioned this on the 2006 DVD set. I fully agree with this as in the world of NLP many confuse having a certificate with "being qualified" and the general standard I have encountered of insights is not that great. In those instances where I train others in NLP (which are less than they used to be) I always stress the need to not just rely on rolling out techniques. Today I spoke to somebody who had spent a huge sum on trainings (the price of a new BMW!) and had not learned basic client skills due IMO to a poor quality of training.
In 2009 The Association for Provocative Therapy will be running PT trainings in the UK and elsewhere. These will focus on real skill development and teaching the different layers involved in this approach. To date those who have previously trained in NLP either do very well or totally struggle to move from their own figid beliefs, so its gonna be interesting...
LOL
Provocative Therapy is a very sophisticated therapeutic approach that requires an acute ability to pay attention and to work in the here and now avoiding any mindreading of the client. After almost four years of studying with Frank Farrelly up close I have noticed that few who have studied NLP have IMO realised the many dimensions to Frank's work. Part of thereason for this is that may NLPers only train with a couple of trainers and never see private clients, so much of their "understanding" is wholly theoretical. This extends to those with quite grandoise titles and years of experence!
Frank has indicated that there will be no certifications in Provocative Therapy and mentioned this on the 2006 DVD set. I fully agree with this as in the world of NLP many confuse having a certificate with "being qualified" and the general standard I have encountered of insights is not that great. In those instances where I train others in NLP (which are less than they used to be) I always stress the need to not just rely on rolling out techniques. Today I spoke to somebody who had spent a huge sum on trainings (the price of a new BMW!) and had not learned basic client skills due IMO to a poor quality of training.
In 2009 The Association for Provocative Therapy will be running PT trainings in the UK and elsewhere. These will focus on real skill development and teaching the different layers involved in this approach. To date those who have previously trained in NLP either do very well or totally struggle to move from their own figid beliefs, so its gonna be interesting...
LOL
Wednesday, 10 September 2008
A Dog's purpose (thanks to Frank for e-mailing this one)
A Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year-old).
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish
Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their
little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for
a miracle. I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the
family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the
euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As we made
arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for
six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might
learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family
surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time,
that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes,
Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker's
transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while
after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives
are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped
up, 'I know why.'
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me.
I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.
He said, 'People are born so that they can learn how to live a good Life --
like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?' The Six-year-old
continued, 'Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have
to
stay as long.'
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure
Ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them
gently.
ENJOY
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish
Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their
little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for
a miracle. I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the
family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the
euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As we made
arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for
six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might
learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family
surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time,
that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes,
Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker's
transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while
after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives
are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped
up, 'I know why.'
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me.
I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.
He said, 'People are born so that they can learn how to live a good Life --
like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?' The Six-year-old
continued, 'Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have
to
stay as long.'
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure
Ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them
gently.
ENJOY
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